HI. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything this personal, and I’m sorry for just not posting in general. I made it to day two of my Halloween series and things happened with day three and I gave up. I shouldn’t have but I did. I promise I’ll do better for Christmas because I have stuff planned for that as well. I will finish Halloween next year for sure because I got a taste of doing something for myself in that capacity and I really enjoyed it.
This went rambly really quickly and i don’t know how exactly. I’m here to talk about my mental health lately so here we go. I am depressed and have two different anxiety disorders and that makes my life a little bit hard sometimes. My depression brain makes it hard to stay motivated and continue with stuff sometimes when defeat kicks in, and my anxiety makes me nervous to do anything or be around anybody sometimes so that also sucks. Lately it’s been worse because of home stuff and I think I need to just suck it up and work on stuff regardless of my weird screwed up brain.
Something I have always wanted to do is to create looks that are fully involved. Like makeup, handmade costumes and props, backstories, and the whole nine yards but I have never had the motivation to do it because of one reason or another. I need to stop letting my brain win and just do. Just sit down and do things for the sake of doing them even if i think they are horrible or didn’t come out the way I wanted them to. My brain makes things harder than they need to be and I need to stop letting that control me because it is becoming a detriment to my mental health. I get stuck in a cycle of “woe is me” and “I hate myself” which leads to more gross amounts of feet dragging.
Bottom line is that I need to push through my depression and anxiety brain and work. And I need to work hard to succeed in my endeavors. I need to stop sitting on my ass and being lazy.
This is not a super happy post like a lot of my others but it needed to be written for my sake and for those that may be struggling as well. People need to be aware that no one is ever okay 100% of the time. Hell people aren’t okay even 50% of the time sometimes.
Kit By Design Signing Out!
Remember that I love you no matter what!
Remember that you matter!
Kit By Design 